I haven’t gotten comfortable with the thought of losing either of my parents.  All the funerals of  years past have been for others a step removed.  Younger brothers aren’t supposed to die sooner than parents, sooner than me.  We haven’t had a close relationship.  We’ve just been brothers.  I still love him.  The thought of losing him soon hurts my heart.  Tears come unbidden.  We will make the most of today.

My view is that the way I treat others is based upon who I am.  Because of my character, my integrity I treat every person around me – whether they are doing right or wrong, trustworthy or not, honest or not, rich or poor, educated or uneducated, young or old, or any other characteristic – with respect.  Though another may be disrespectful of me it doesn’t change who I am.  I will  still be a person  who  is respectful of others.

It may be that the view of respect being earned is really talking about trust or reputation.  Respecting anther doesn’t mean I trust them with what I value.  To trust you I have to know you.  Reputation is one’s history of character.  If you have a good character over a time you earn the reputation of one who has integrity.  Your reputation does change how you are treated and trusted.

Ultimately, respecting others is a result of who I am.  That’s the reputation I want to earn.

One – I’ve had to make it a part of normal life.  Generally I shave every couple of days which might seem to be an extra burden to add to my schedule.  Instead of seeing it as a burden I view it as a regular part of getting ready – just like showering, shaving, and brushing my teeth.  If I had viewed it as a burden I don’t think I wouuld have kept it up.

Two – Lotion matters.  I’ve gone through a hand full of different types of lotion – one my wife didn’t like the scent, another began to burn after I’d used it for a while.  Right now I’m using Aveeno with spf 15.  Although there are less expensive lotions (like the one that burned), but it seems to be worth it.

Three – Hats become important – not to hide my head, but to shield from the sun.  I was not one to wear hats before, but I’m learning to carry one in case I’m outside for very long.

Four – Some people can’t seem to understand why anyone would choose to be bald.  Even after 9 months I have some folks ask when I’m growing my hair back.  Actually, shaving my mustache would be a bigger deal for me – I’m sure I’d grow it back pretty quick if I had shaved my upper lip.

Baldness has been great.  I’ve saved all kinds of money not having to use shampoo (okay, not that much).  It is nice not to have to worry about bedhead in the morning.  I believe I’ll keep my head as is.

How is that?  Generally, this type of preaching is centered on how others are wrong and are facing the judgment and condemnation of God.  These sermons are centered on everyone who is not sitting in the pew (unless an unfortunate sinner happened to walk in that Sunday).  Sins and sinners are hammered on and then everyone walks out of the church building feeling good about their own lives – the sinners have been told.  Soft. Weak.There’s nothing there.  A sermon that is aimed at people who aren’t there is useless.

Preaching that is truly hard is the preaching that talks about what we do, say and think.  These sermons (that those above describe as soft) challenge and illuminate the lives of those who are in the pews at that moment.  There’s hardly ever 100% hit on everyone, but it must be focused on those who are present.  As everyone walks out of the door, the sermon should echo in their lives.

Maybe the problem with hellfire and brimstone sermons is that too many preachers seem to enjoy preaching them.  If the preacher hasn’t been brought to tears in preparation because he is looking at what God is saying about him personally, maybe it’s time to start preaching really hard sermons.

I wonder if we’ve missed the point all along.  Generally, long held beliefs aren’t questioned since “that’s what we’ve always been taught.”  Is God’s intention in  this regard to disallow men from serving as shepherds because they have been married before their present wife?  Many have given explanations as to why that would be the case, but none of them are explanations from Scripture, they focus on our own reasonings as to why it would be the case.  The descriptions given in Timothy and Titus about elders center on character and maturity.  How does “husband of but one wife” fit into this context?

The talk about widows in I Timothy chapter 5 might give us a clue.  The same type phrase is used, though it is translated in different ways. In Greek the widow who can be added to the list of widows must be a “one man woman.”  The NIV translates it as “has been faithful to her husband.”  NAS says “the wife of one man.”  Does God mean that a widow cannot be put on the list of widows if she has outlived two husbands or that somewhere in past years she was divorced by one husband and then remarried?  Or is God meaning that she must be one of good character and faithfulness (as seen in the other qualifications listed)?  It would fit better into the context and the intent to say it talks of her faithfulness to her husband rather than how many husbands she might have had in past years. (Would the woman at the well have been excluded from the list of widows even if she had repented and changed her ways after her encounter with Jesus?)

The phrase “husband of but one wife” is literally “a one woman man.”  We understand that phrase when we use it to mean a man who has shown love, dedication and faithfulness to his wife.  We don’t use it to say if he has been married any before his present wife.  It would seem to fit the context better for elders as well.

When you lose someone you love it is painful, sad, and a time for grief.  Even if you believe they are better off by passing from this world, you still miss them terribly.  Tears are very much a part of saying goodbye.  Even so, over the years I’ve found that most funerals, at least the best of them, always include laughter we well.  Tears and laughter – shouldn’t they be mutually exclusive?  We might think so, but both are a very important part of our grieving.  We understand tears more easily because of the sorrow for the loss.  If we’ll think of all that surrounds these times we can see how laughter is brought into the moment as well.

My favorite part of funerals (does that sound morbid? it’s not intended to be.) is when those who have gathered to pay their respects recount their memories.  Inevitably during these remembrances events will be brought up that illustrate some enjoyable personality quirk of the loved one or that are times of joy shared by friends and family.  A funeral without these memories seems to lack a full expression of the love being expressed.

So, back to our tone in worship.  Tears can be a very important part of our approach to God.  We grieve over our own sins, over the injustices of this world, over the pains, sorrows and losses of life.  Laughter, also, is an important part of coming before our Creator.  We rejoice at the tremendous blessings He has bestowed upon us, especially all He’s done for us in Christ, at the wonderful gift He’s given us in each other, at the wonder of the “miracles” we see around us in creation and in life (who can’t smile at children and babies?), at the amazing paradox that we have received grace in spite of our undeservingness (not really a word, but how can we adequately describe the depths of our sin?).

If we leave out sorrow or joy, by focusing on only one, maybe it is then we haven’t taken worship as seriously as we should.

What did regular folks wear to assemblies back then?  The same clothes they wore everyday – what they wore around the house, what they wore to work, what they wore to visit friends, what they wore to go to the market.  It was appropriate to wear their regular clothes to worship God – worship was not some special out-of-the-ordinary event, but a normal part of life.

Maybe this is the real point to consider – do we consider worship to be a normal part of life, like sleeping and eating?  If it is some extra-ordinary event, then special dress is appropriate.  It it is normal and regular, then everyday clothing would be more fitting.

I have wondered that if special dress is mandatory, then why isn’t it applied consistently?  Consistently, in that, is every moment of worship met by wearing “our best?”  When we gather to eat and turn to God in prayer, should we wear our best?  When we sing as a family songs of praise to God, should we wear our best as we sing?  If Sunday morning is the only time to wear our best, then is it about worship or is it about the assembly?

No matter what we wear as we gather to worship God, may He be honored and glorified by our hearts.

How many races do we avoid since they seem impossible? Can we love our enemies? Forgive those who have hurt us? Give sacrificially? Serve instead of seeking to be served? The “impossible” has been done by many who have gone ahead of us on the road of faith. We can learn to do all of these and more by looking to the examples of those who love, forgive, give, and serve. Jesus blazed the trail and many have followed. Let’s join them in this journey.

Years ago the concept of wearing your best to church was foreign and thought to be out of place. In the early 1800′s there was some who were upset by the trend of churchgoers wearing their nicer clothes to assemblies instead of clothes that were simple and humble. I’m curious as to when the concept changed and nicer clothes became what was expected.

Ironically, if we were to look at the real meaning of giving God the best (from the sacrifices of the Old Testament when they were to give the best of their flocks), we might not have any nice clothes to wear on Sunday mornings. Instead of wearing our best clothes to assemblies we would take our best clothes and give them to the poor to honor God. Are we ready to give God our best?

There are a couple of concepts from Scripture that address how we dress, one especially about assemblies. First, one is the need for modesty.

1 Tim 2:9-10 I also want women to dress modestly , with decency and propriety, not with braided hair or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God. NIV

Even though women are the primary subject, this is a concept that applies to all. God does expect us to dress modestly, not only in assemblies, but also every place else as well.

The only place I’ve seen that specifically addresses dress during assemblies is in James.

James 2:1-4
2:1 My brothers, as believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ, don’t show favoritism. 2 Suppose a man comes into your meeting wearing a gold ring and fine clothes, and a poor man in shabby clothes also comes in. 3 If you show special attention to the man wearing fine clothes and say, “Here’s a good seat for you,” but say to the poor man, “You stand there” or “Sit on the floor by my feet,” 4 have you not discriminated among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?
NIV

Instead of nice clothes being held out as the expected wear, James tells us it is wrong to treat someone better who is wearing nicer clothes. Have we fallen into that trap by expecting nice clothes to be worn and looking down on those who don’t measure up?

Maybe we should just drop the concept of church clothes completely and just talk about clothes.

                As you pray for each one be sure to “pray that” as well.  Pray that God will open the door (of their hearts) to the message of Christ and that we will tell it clearly and fearlessly.  Pray that we will be active in sharing our faith.  As we pray for others, pray that God will use us to impact the lives, souls, and faith of those on our heart’s list.